The Mantra
by Bekwashere
Summary: "There is no emotion, there is peace..." Qui-Gon reflects upon his interpretation of the mantra he knows so well, and a 17-year-old Obi-Wan coincidentally has some questions about it.


The Jedi have a responsibility to themselves, the galaxy and to the Jedi Order to forgo emotional attachments. They are required to focus their energies on the Force and on protection of the Republic; this is the basic foundation of their lives. Qui-Gon Jinn is not a foolish man, and though the Council may not always think so, his allegiance to the Order is absolute. Yet he knows that it is impossible to shut out one's own humanity as the Code would have him do. "_There is no emotion, there is peace". _Qui-Gon has repeated the words a million times as a youngling, a million times more under Dooku's instruction, and the words rouse a familiar feeling of certainty every time he recites them now.

The original version, he believes, is more sound: _"Emotion, yet peace." _He has emotions, but he is at peace with them. He does not need to think of them as non-existant, but they have never controlled him and he has never allowed them to. They are not ignored, but the Living Force is far stronger and Qui-Gon is far deeply attuned to it. _"There is no ignorance, there is knowledge," _he thinks with a smile.

"Something funny, master?" Obi-Wan asks from beside him, lifting his tired eyes to look at his master. They are in the Library, and Obi-Wan is studying texts.

"No," Qui-Gon answers shortly, returning the look with a fond smile. His padawan, at 17, is living proof of an emotional attachment, he thinks. They have had their fallouts, and they never got along when Qui-Gon first took the boy on. He had thought he had made a mistake at first; Obi-Wan was headstrong, fervent, enjoying a good fight and so different to Qui-Gon that at first it seemed his new padawan could not be taught anything. However, they learned to make their separate mindsets work as one as they were sent out on missions, and Qui-Gon knows very well that Obi-Wan is fast becoming a better Jedi than himself. Qui-Gon has seen the boy unite with the Force perfectly, but his conscious realization of this aptitude needs work.

Qui-Gon loves his padawan as a father would his son, and he knows that his fellow Jedi are able to see it. He does not, however, believe that any of them finds this inappropriate or holds it against him, except for perhaps Master Windu -though Windu, in his total obedience, has a few differences with Qui-Gon. Interesting, truly, that anyone would know when Qui-Gon keeps it so totally to himself. Not surprising, however, since many of them have their own padawans and most probably can relate.

"Master, it's been hours," Obi-Wan suddenly sighs from his spot, trying to look diligent but with his eyelids drooping tellingly.

"I know, padawan," Qui-Gon replies, "I apologize. I was not attempting to wear you out, I became lost in thought."

"I could see that." Obi-Wan says a little sourly, rubbing his eyes and leaning back in his seat. "Only you could manage to abandon me here like that without even moving," he draws his hands away from his face and crosses his arms. "What were you thinking about?"

"The Mantra," Qui-Gon says lightly. "Care to repeat it back to me?"

"Master, I..." Obi-Wan looks at him with indignation, his blue-gray eyes widening with what looks very much like despair.

"I was making a joke, Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon chuckles, and Obi-Wan gives a huff of laughter as well, scratching behind his head.

"Perhaps you should find a better sense of humour," the boy smiles, meeting his master's eyes.

"Perhaps I should," Qui-Gon shrugs.

"Actually, I..." Obi-Wan hesitates. Qui-Gon waits for him to continue speaking. "I've been thinking about the Mantra. I thought you must have somehow picked up on that and you were going to lecture me."

"And why would I do that? It's good to think about what you're told. Gain your own perspective." Qui-Gon states.

"It's just...the Mantra conflicts with...well, with some of what I've experienced," Obi-Wan says, "And I can't imagine any Jedi being happy about that."

Qui-Gon waits again. If his padawan wishes to tell him more, he will do so.

"What you said. Just then; about gaining your own perspective. I can't think of another Jedi who would say that. Master...I would never have wanted anyone else's training, and I mean it," - Qui-Gon feels a warm glow in his middle at the words – "but natural feelings tend to compete with what you have taught me."

Qui-Gon gives slow nod, leaning forward slightly in the process almost like he's bowing to the Council.

"Sometimes, I mean for example, if I feel excited, passionate, it takes me a moment to calm and remember that...that I'm not _allowed _to feel passion. .." Obi-Wan stops in his tracks, appearing distressed as he looks up at Qui-Gon. "Is there something wrong with me, Master?"

"No, padawan, there isn't," Qui-Gon shakes his head. "It's just that you still have some learning to do of the Living Force. You and I are only human at our foundation, and as a result we _do _feel emotion, passion, all of it. You are allowed to, and it wouldn't stop even if you weren't." He shifts his position to face Obi-Wan properly, then leans forward. "But we are Jedi. We must learn to bind ourselves with the Force so that our human tendencies are no longer significant. You, Obi-Wan, are part of something greater than yourself. You are more than human if you allow it. You must allow it. Do not think of your ability as some kind of order, even if it seems to come across that way when others tell you that you have it."

Obi-Wan's eyes light up, and it makes his master smile to see it. "That makes sense," he replies slowly. "So...I don't need to let go of feelings, only pay less heed to them."

"Yes. And that is something you are fully capable of. You can align yourself to the Force completely; I have seen it."

Obi-Wan looks relived.

"The Mantra is not a set of instructions, it's a mindset we must adhere to if we hope to make the most of ourselves. You still have much to learn, padawan, but if there was something wrong with you, then you wouldn't be here."

"Thankyou, Master."


End file.
